Get Outta Here With That Boom Boom Boom

It's July 30th 2012. It's steamy and sweaty. There is not much to do except sweat. I have a hot tub in my backyard, but I don't go in unless it's over 100 degrees outside and the water is 99 degrees. Even then, I shiver when I get out. I have a scrawny body that is intolerant of any cold air, even at 102 degrees.

At night I like to go inside and watch the most boring show I could find on TV, simply to fall asleep.

This does not seem to be easy this summer. For some reason, people in my neighborhood have obtained an abundance of fireworks this year. Was there a sale? Do these people have so much money they can afford to just blow it up? Every night since around June 28th, I have heard fireworks. Not the usual whistle types or occassional pop. I am talking about boomers. I am sitting there when all of a sudden. BOOM. like a freaking cannon went off. I jump. My dogs jump.

My dogs hate thunder and fireworks. Unfortunately, this summer has been filled with both. They shake and cry and try to dig holes in the carpet. I can't comfort them. They finally calm down and then BOOM, another one. Sons of bitches.

What is the purpose of a giant explosion. There are no pretty lights. These are just M-80's or something. Now I am no longer 7 years old, so it doesn't thrill me anymore. Now it just annoys the crap out of me. I was never a huge fan of fireworks. To me it's like the ocean. Repetitive and I get it but after about three seconds, it's boring.

I wish these people would stick one of those M-80's up their asses. That I would watch.

What can I do about this? Call the cops? I don't want to be one of those people. I understand this may be fun for people. They invite over their stupid friends and family to witness these obnoxious noises while they drink martinis. But where is the courtesy for the neighbors? What if I liked public urination as much as they liked fireworks. I can't go over there and pee on their mailbox. They would call a cop and I would get arrested. I can see it now. They throw me in a squad car to the sound of BOOM in the background.

Daily Theme Song:
Phil Harris - The Thing:  http://youtu.be/FWPx-fw0mI8