The Kids Are Alright

People love to brag about their kids. They have bumper stickers to prove it. Everything from "My kid is an honor student" to "My kid beat up your honor student." They post pictures of their wonderful kids on Facebook. Don't any of these people realize that nobody cares about their wonderful kids? I have seen sonogram pictures, baby pictures, toddler pictures. It eventually stops when they turn into teenagers. Then they post their own pictures in provocative poses. It's amazing how vain we have all become. I also love how people talk about how smart and unselfish and well behaved their kids are. Yet, I have seen more rude, self-centered and stupid kids than back in the days when nobody talked about their kids. I can usually tell when people are lying. "Bobby is a good kid. He tries. He is my challenging one" That translates to "Bobby robs liquor stores and is a father of three at the age of 16." We were all kids once. We all disappointed our parents at some point in time. That's what made us terrible parents in the first place. So, the kids are alright. It's the parents that are the problem. And the kids are not afraid to tell friends how inept, clueless and horrible their parents are. We should stop being proud of our kids. They are not proud of us. They want us to die so they can have all our money. Too soon?

Daily Theme Song:
The Who - The Kids Are Alright http://youtu.be/afam2nIae4o

Godzilla

I'm not paranoid enough without daily news alerts of killer mosquitoes, mad cows, infectious ticks and whatever else is waiting to destroy us. I am waiting for Mothra to show up and just devour Manhattan. Where is Godzilla when you need him? They blame everything from mild winters to hot summers to bath salts and Republicans for the West Nile virus. I think these mosquitoes have seen too many Twilight movies and they figure the best way to make the news is to become vampires. Only the female mosquito bites. So these vampire girls are making us sick, much like the vampire boys in the Twilight saga did.  And if the mosquitoes don't get you, the salmonella melons will. They say avoid hiking, pools of water. don't wear shorts, t-shirts or sandals. I could certainly do with less man feet. I think I will just stay home and avoid the outside all together. Besides, Godzilla vs Mothra is on TCM tomorrow morning. Oh no, there goes Tokyo.



Daily Theme Song:
Blue Oyster Cult - Godzilla http://youtu.be/ln8-Y-fIbqM

Hay Fever

Freshly mowed grass. Achoo. Pollen flowing from trees. Achoo. I thought allergies were associated with spring. I have never been prone to allergies but this year seems to be an exception. Tree pollen, ragweed, mold, mildew, humidity and the overall air quality is just making me...ah ah ah achoo. I have tried all the over the counter medications and they don't seem to have an effect. The 24 hour ones just give me a headache. It's really annoying. Achoo. I have also developed an allergy to certain foods. When I over eat, Achoo. When i drink water too fast. Achoo. And with my partial deviated septum, I honk. A honkchoo. It's loud. Like a fog horn on a boat. It scares the cats. It annoys my wife. I can't stop the noise. I run to another room in hopes I will get to the tissue box on time. I look up at the sun, or a light to induce the next honk. I never really know when I am finished. Spring allergies have turned into summer allergies. Achoo. I hate sneezing while driving because you can't sneeze with your eyes open. This could be worse than texting while driving. I don't want to be pulled over for a DWS. They would put me in a cell with other offenders and I guarantee there are no tissues. "What are you in for? oh, robbery? wow. me? I'm in for ah ah achoo..sorry."


Daily Theme Song:
The Kinks - Hay Fever http://youtu.be/Z3Xh7VB-u-U

Strip

The strip mall is a familiar sight in suburbia. It is also an indication of the state of the economy at any point in time. Forget the Gross National Product and the Consumer Price Index. I bet the economic health of any town is statistically tied to the the number of stores closed in any strip mall. The big box stores (Wal-Mart, Target, etc.) is often the blame. Politicians failed policies is always at the top of the hit list. However, did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, those places were just poorly run establishments with overpriced merchandise and bad customer service? I can think of quite a few places I have been in that fall into that category. Although in some cases, it doesn't apply. How come I hardly see Chinese take-out places go under. No matter how run down they get, they stay in business. I refuse to get Chinese take-out in the summer if I see the front door open. That means they have no air conditioning and a million flies on the Egg Foo Young. No thank you. Also, doctors offices never seem to fail. No matter how nasty those receptionists are or how long they make you wait for a non-answer to your medical problem, they never close. So if there is a town out there in suburbia with strip malls filled with Chinese take-out places and Doctor's offices, their economy will always be booming. I bet there are a few of those in Florida, in between the Hospitals, Churches and cemeteries. I was driving with my Dad in Florida and he pointed out to me "watch this...Doctor's office, Church, Cemetery, Medical Center, church, fuenral parlor. People get sick, pray and die in Florida."  We stopped for Chinese food. The door was closed. They weren't out of business. They had air conditioning. I ordered the Egg Foo Young.

Daily Theme Song:
Adam Ant - Strip http://youtu.be/_Z7fV-wB2z8

My Little Runaway

Every morning on my way to work I see the same woman running. This has been going on for years. I notice her because I leave the same time every day and she is always at around the same spot. She lives in my neighborhood but I wouldn't recognize her without her sweatpants, earbuds, and sweaty tank top. She is getting thinner as time goes by. I guess the running program is helping to keep her in that shape. I don't know why she is running so much. I imagine it's for health reasons. Maybe she is  training for a marathon to fight breast cancer, kidney disease, diabetes, heart disease, ALS, or any other ailment that people feel the need to run for. Maybe it's just something she enjoys doing. I wave to her once in a while. She never waves back. Maybe she doesn't see me or she doesn't want to break her concentration.  I wonder what she is listening to on her I-Pod. I would imagine it's something that keeps her moving. Dance music or some old disco. She looks to be around 50 years old. I think Lionel Richie fits the bill, or Celine Dion. Hearing Celine Dion would make me run in the opposite direction. I hope she achieves her goals and wins what ever she is trying to win. A longer life maybe? She seems to be spending a great deal of her life running. One day, if I ever see her in a still position I will ask her why she runs. She might find my inquiry odd, get scared and run away from me. I would never catch her. I don't run. I drive. Because I have a car.

Daily Theme Song:

Del Shannon - Runaway http://youtu.be/0S13mP_pfEc

I've Gotta Get A Message To You

You know your life has reached a new low when the big part of your day is getting the mail. I still get a little flutter in my belly when I see that mail truck coming down my block. I watch from the window. I like my mailman. He waves to me. I give him a tip at Christmas and I always make a path for him in the snow storms.However, I don't like to go out there when he is at my mailbox. I wait and then run out. I don't even put shoes on. I run in my socks and open that box in hopes that something exciting will be in there. When I am expecting something in the mail it rarely comes on time. I hate the feeling of disappointment when it's not in there. I feel rejected for 24 hours until he arrives the next day. I hate when I go out there and the box is empty. Then I wonder "did he come? is there really no mail?" I have a tendency to check the box on Sunday, even though I know there is no mail on Sunday. Junk mail makes me angry and I get way too much of that.  Local maid service companies, landscapers, painters, gutter cleaners, all leave flyers in my mailbox. I throw them directly in the garbage. One guy has a driveway repair service and he leaves a little bag of rocks in my mailbox. The mail is slowing down because we communicate by e-mail now. There may come a time when we won't need mailmen (or letter carriers) anymore, and we won't get that warm feeling of getting a Birthday card or a letter from someone we haven't seen in years. E-mails excite me too, but there is something about that short trip to the mailbox that will always have a place in my heart.

Daily Theme Song:

The Bee Gees - I've Gotta Get A Message to You http://youtu.be/6RUjnqH3kMw

Jesus Is Just Alright

Sunday is Church day for a lot of people. Especially in the suburbs. There are lots of churches of all denominations. I was raised Greek Orthodox. As a boy, I didn't understand what that meant other than I went to a different Church than my other friends. They were Catholic. They went to Catholic school .They would tell me horror stories about the nuns beating them. To this day, I am afraid of nuns. I have never been beaten by a nun, but apparently they have the propensity to kick ass. Throughout my adult life, I have not been a regular Church goer. I only go for weddings, funerals, baptisms, confirmations, and that's about it. You can watch church on television. I always find that interesting. There is channel that just shows Church 24 hours a day. Who is watching Church on television? Not me. I can't imagine a friend calling me up "Stevie are you watching the game?. No way man, Church is on. It's the season finale. I think Jesus is coming back this episode." I wonder what would happen to Church if Jesus did come back. It would be over wouldn't it? Isn't that what everyone is waiting for? The Church would be out of business. There wouldn't be much point after Jesus came back. "Hello Father Bob, no Church today? "Nope, Jesus is back, so I guess we are done here." Many believe if Jesus comes back, we are all done here. Who knows. Maybe he did come back, and they are hiding him. If Jesus came back he would put alot of people out of work. I am not here to be anti-religion so don't get mad at me. Jesus wouldn't be mad at me. I like Jesus. I've always been a fan. I'm alright with Jesus and Jesus is just alright with me. Oh yeah.

Daily Theme Song:
The Doobie Brothers - Jesus Is Just Alright http://youtu.be/s3aYJibxMOQ